Why Perfectionism is Bad for Your Image
If you find clothes shopping frustrating, you’re probably going about it all wrong. All the makeover shows in the world can’t help if you’re approaching things from the wrong angle. It doesn’t help that many of those shows promote an unhelpful mindset - striving for perfection.
It’s ridiculous if you think about it - how can anything about anyone’s appearance be perfect when we all look different? We have these ideal body shapes that embody perfection. For women, it’s the hourglass shape and for men…I dunno, pick a Hemsworth I guess.
We look in the mirror and notice that we’re not built like the perfect ideal, and then we find ourselves lacking. Now, only 8 percent of women are hourglass shaped and only 2 men are Hemsworth shaped and somehow we think it’s bad not to be one of the few. If that’s not beating yourself up over not being perfect, I don’t know what is.
Imitation is Exhausting
Way too much style advice on TV and online and in magazines (remember those?) teaches us how to make our bodies look like they’re shaped like the ideal. We can allegedly create the illusion that our hips are wider or narrower, or that we’re taller than we actually are - which, yeah, no. That doesn’t really work. The only thing that creates is physical discomfort.
If you’re short waisted and wear something that’s supposed to make you look like you’re not short waisted, that thing isn’t going to fit you properly. It won’t look or feel comfortable, and you’ll be tugging at your clothes all day. It doesn’t look good and it doesn’t make a good impression on anyone.
All because we’re trying to look “perfect”.
Not that long ago, clothes were made specifically for one person. You made your own clothes, or bought them from a tailor or seamstress. Everything was made to your exact measurements and no one cared if they weren’t built like anyone else. Well, not to the extent that we care about it now. As far as clothes were concerned, perfect didn’t exist.
Not all clothes are for you.
Related to this, we make this silly assumption that every piece of clothing in a store should look good on us and if it doesn’t, that’s our fault. In reality, not everything in that store is made for you. Anyone can wear an a-line skirt comfortably and stylishly. But we can’t all wear a skirt that’s completely straight - if your hips flare out a bit, your skirt needs to as well. Otherwise, it’ll be too tight and you won’t be able to move easily.
Even if a piece of clothing is designed for your shape, it’s not made for your exact measurements. That’s just the nature of garment manufacturing. Which is why you’re always hearing that you should take your clothes to a tailor (or learn how to make basic alterations).
But aren’t we wandering into perfectionism territory?
There’s a difference between changing a garment to fit you perfectly and trying to change your body to suit a garment or an ideal. If you start berating yourself for not altering all your clothes, then yeah - that’s harmful perfectionism. But changing inanimate objects to suit your “imperfections” is a way of embracing yourself just as you are.
How to shop for clothes
Learn about your particular body shape, keeping in mind that you’re probably a combination of the standard shapes. (For example, every human over 40 has a bit of a tummy, so we’re all a little bit apple.) Discover which styles and shapes work for and with your body and reject everything else. Go from thinking that you’re not right for every clothing style to realizing that not every clothing style is right for you.
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