There’s No Such Thing As Perfect Grammar
This is one of those things that pop up on social media every now and again. Someone complaining that “finna” isn’t a word, or that “literally” now also means “figuratively.” And the singular they. Which some people still resist even though “he or she” is the clunkiest phrase ever in addition to being trans-unfriendly.
It comes down to Prescriptivists vs. Descriptivists. The Ps learned word meanings and grammar and think that anyone not following those exact rules are wrong. This is a losing battle because language is always changing. (Fun fact: Shakespeare wrote in MODERN English. Forsooth.) In school, we’re taught the “right” way to write and speak. And I get it’s not easy to explain the subtleties of language to 5 year olds, but the kids are more perceptive than we give them credit for.
What Prescriptivists forget is that there are different styles of writing and speaking that are appropriate in different situations. Academic writing is different from blogging, which is different from writing advertising copy, which is different from writing fiction, which is different from writing an email to your friends.
Think of it like Code Switching. The way you communicate with your friends isn’t the same as with you do with your parents. Even different groups of friends have different communication styles. And that includes variations in vocabulary and grammar.
It’s unrealistic to expect people to speak and write the same exact way in all contexts, as well as classist and racist. (You’ve judged someone for saying, “supposably.” We all have.)
Besides, Descriptivists control the dictionary. All the dictionaries. You’d have to create several Prescriptivist dictionaries to mount an attack.
It’s a great relief to realize that there is no perfect grammar. I can’t possibly be the only perfectionist who felt like red corrections on their homework were the end of the world. The whole point of language is communication, so as long as you get your point across, you’re doing fine. This is why we all speak typo, but not autocorrect. It also means that if we keep misusing a word, it’ll change meaning and usage eventually. At some point in the (I hope) distant future, “supposably” will be listed in the dictionary.
It’s also why I, as a writer, invent words all the time. Do you understand what that word means? Then it’s a word.
Finna, btw is African American Vernacular English for “I’m going to” and is related to “fixing to”, a common southern-ism. I, a middle-aged white woman, will not attempt to use it in a sentence, though Dictionary.com offers the example, “Oh, no, she finna break his heart!”
This is a kind of perfectionism that we inflict on others as well as ourselves. And it can be easy to let go of it - you just need to accept defeat. Pick a grammar battle and just admit you’ve lost.
For me, it was “presently”. I studied a lot of 19th Century English Lit in college, so I was taught that “presently” meant “in a minute” as in, “I’ll be with you presently.” And then voicemail was invented and people wanted to sound fancy in their outgoing messages, so everyone was “presently away” from their desks. It bugged the shit out of me, but once those descriptivist bastards at the dictionary accepted the new meaning, it was a lost battle.
And now I just let that sort of thing go. Like an old veteran, I grumble that I survived the whole “presently” thing, so you’ll all live through the whole “literally” kerfuffle.
Some of these changes are delightful. Consider “was like”. “I was like wow” conveys that I said, “wow,” but also that my entire demeanor expressed that thought. It’s so evocative! Or “thisclose”. “Thisclose” conveys exactly what it means.
I can’t understate how much lighter I feel now that I don’t get upset over “literally” or whatever. I know deep in my soul how upset I could get about “literally” and it feels amazing not to direct any energy in that direction. I’m just not going to die on that hill. I will, however die on some fandom-related hills. You’ve got to draw the line somewhere.
What language change have you had to let go?
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